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Dobrodošao Gost ( Prijavi se | Registracija )
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Poruka
#1
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Par programerskih viceva, koji nisu za shiru masu (posto naravno nece skontati)
--- Sta programer kaze kad zeli oralni sex? Unpack and execute --- Koliko programera treba da se zameni sijalica? Nijedan, to je ipak hardverski problem --- Sta vice programer kad se davi ? F1 F1 F1 !!! --- Posalje zena muza programera u radju i kazu mu: "Kupi margarin, ako ima jaja, kupi 10 !" Muz ode u radnju, vraca se kuci, stavi na sto 10 margarina i kaze: "Ima jaja" --- Slobodno doprinesite ![]() -------------------- oh noes...
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Poruka
#2
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Pfff... i nisu neto
![]() Ovaj mi je omiljeni u poslednje vreme: Da bi ste razumeli rekurziju, morate prvo razumeti rekurziju ![]() (mada, striktno govoreći, ovo NIJE rekurzija nego običan circulus vitiosus, al da ne sitničarimo, vic je u pitanju ![]() Klasika: Postoji 10 vrsta ljudi na svetu: oni koji znaju i oni koji ne znaju binarne brojeve. Q: Why do programmers always get Christmas and Halloween mixed up? A: Because DEC 25 = OCT 31 The Programmers' Cheer: Shift to the left, shift to the right! Pop up, push down, byte, byte, byte! Q: Why all Pascal programmers ask to live in Atlantis? A: Because it is below C level. How do you keep a programmer in the shower all day? Give him a bottle of shampoo which says "lather, rinse, repeat." -------------------- As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches 1.
Godwin's law |
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Poruka
#3
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(Nosedigger...sa neta) Par programerskih viceva, koji nisu za shiru masu (posto naravno nece skontati)
--- Sta programer kaze kad zeli oralni sex? Unpack and execute --- Koliko programera treba da se zameni sijalica? Nijedan, to je ipak hardverski problem --- Sta vice programer kad se davi ? F1 F1 F1 !!! --- Posalje zena muza programera u radju i kazu mu: "Kupi margarin, ako ima jaja, kupi 10 !" Muz ode u radnju, vraca se kuci, stavi na sto 10 margarina i kaze: "Ima jaja" --- Slobodno doprinesite ![]() ovaj sam radnjim sam cuo jos ranije, ali extra je ![]() -------------------- One of these days...
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Poruka
#4
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*Kako se pozdravljaju nazi hakeri?
Zip-Fajl... -------------------- ![]() |
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Poruka
#5
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Razgovaraju dva hakera:
Zna onaj pogled, ono, kad devojci prosto viri seks iz oiju, kad se vidi da bi htela... Ne znam. Ni ja. Informatiarska kletva: Dabogda ti ena bila open source! Kako se krste programeri: U ime oca, Sina, I Svetoga Duha , Enter -------------------- ![]() |
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Poruka
#6
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(Mr. Van den Puup) Zna onaj pogled, ono, kad devojci prosto viri seks iz oiju, kad se vidi da bi htela...
Ne znam. Ni ja. --- Informatiarska kletva: Dabogda ti ena bila open source! ROFL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! @zeljko Dobri su ti vicevi, nisam ih cuo :tobre: :bravo: -------------------- oh noes...
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Poruka
#7
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(Nosedigger...sa neta) Posalje zena muza programera u radju i kazu mu:
"Kupi margarin, ako ima jaja, kupi 10 !" Muz ode u radnju, vraca se kuci, stavi na sto 10 margarina i kaze: "Ima jaja" Ovo je stvarno jedan od najboljih... Elem: Zashto je zhena programer kao morsko prase? -------------------- JA SVE ZNAM, JA SAM MNOGO PAMETAN.
-------------------- "YOUNG, DUMB, FULL OF CUM" -------------------- Zashto komshijin klinja ima veci penis od mene? |
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Poruka
#8
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(Nikola) (Nosedigger...sa neta) Posalje zena muza programera u radju i kazu mu: "Kupi margarin, ako ima jaja, kupi 10 !" Muz ode u radnju, vraca se kuci, stavi na sto 10 margarina i kaze: "Ima jaja" Ovo je stvarno jedan od najboljih... jeste jeste :] a imamo i ono tuzan programer: ne radi program i ne zna gde je greska srecan programer: ne radi program ali zna gde je bar jedna greska to nam pricao nas asistent :] (iz svog iskustva) a onaj cuveni jel za 10 ljudi na svetu...blabla..mnogo ljudi kod mene na fasku nije skontalo... ![]() |
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Poruka
#9
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(NS-KODE) The Programmers' Cheer:
Shift to the left, shift to the right! Pop up, push down, byte, byte, byte! Ahahaah.....Genijalan..... Neam nisha da doprinesem pametno, al morah reci za ovaj da je genijalan....! ![]() -------------------- [url="http://gawker.com/5037013/the-history-of-xenu-as-explained-by-l-ron-hubbard-himself-in-8-minutes"]Sign up now![/url]
[img]http://i.imgur.com/9qHySCu.jpg[/img] |
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Poruka
#10
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- Kako radnici MICROSOFT-a mjenjaju sijalicu kada izgori?
- Nikako, proglase mrak za standard po defaultu. Dozivio informaticar brodolom i nasao se na pustom otoku. Dani, mjeseci su prolazili i vidi ovaj da ga nitko nece spasiti pocne on graditi nekakvu kolibu. Slozio on sebi kolibu, i ono fino zaspao... Kad ujutro se probudi a iznad njega stoji zenska ono plavusa, sisata, vitka ... i kaze ona njemu: - "Ajde ti dodji kod mene ja sam tu s druge strane otoka." Dosli oni kod nje kad vidi on, velika kuca, sve sredjeno, stednjak, frizider... Pita on nju: - "Pa otkud ti sve to?" - "Ma to sam sve pokupila s broda prije nego je potonuo..." Udje unutra, ona njega fino nahrani... Kaze mu neka se istusira, kao ono ima ona i toplu vodu ... bojler na generator... Istusira se on,izadje van a ono zenska skine grudnjak pa gacice ... i kaze mu: - "E sad cu ti dati ono sto cekas vec 6 mjeseci." A informaticar ce: - "Nemoj me zezat da imas i internet!!!" Fitja ne uspeva da zakoci na crvenom svetlu, i svom silom se zabije u zadnjem delu najnovijeg BMW, koji ceka na semaforu ispred njega. Na displeju BMW-a se ispisuje poruka: - "Found new hardware. Install?" - Zasto Windows millenium sluzi kao cuvar u zatvoru? - Zato sto uvek blokira. U nekoj after-work setnji, jedan programer se poverava drugom: - "Znas, imam problem... nece da mi se digne..." - "Je l' si probao iz safe - moda?" - "Jesam, nece..." Otisla plavusa u posti i pitala zasto nece kompjuter da je konektuje: - "A jel znas koji ti je password?" - "6 zvezdica." - "Tata, reci mi, kako sam se rodio?" - "Dobro sine, znao sam da ces me jednog dana to pitati. Evo ovako. Tata i mama su napravili jedan copy/paste na jednom chatu na MSN. Tata je onda dao mami sastanak preko email-a u WC-u u jednom cybercafeu. Onda je mama napravila nekoliko download-a s tatinim memory stick-om. Kad je tata bio spreman za upload, primjetili smo da nismo stavili firewall. Kako je bilo kasno da se koristi undo, a ni delete vise nije pomagao, 9 mjeseci kasnije nam je stigao zajebani virus..." -------------------- horny but sensitive
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Poruka
#11
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Pričaju dva programera koji rade na kodu za enkripciju... jedan je malo nagluv:
-"2db76afcc5c0176b2770fc2360cc1cd4"! -What?!? -I said, "648a19754f7803769c66f871b9cd171a"! -------------------- As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches 1.
Godwin's law |
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Poruka
#12
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A neki bi mogli sledei put jednostavno staviti link za www.vicevi.co.yu itd, isto da se ne mue...
I da, nisu loi vicevi, naprotiv, neke ak nisam ni uo/video do sada... -------------------- ![]() I'd kindly ask you to Shut The Fuck Up. |
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Poruka
#13
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(Nikola) Elem: Zashto je zhena programer kao morsko prase?
Pa, morsko prase nije morsko, a nije ni prase. -------------------- JA SVE ZNAM, JA SAM MNOGO PAMETAN.
-------------------- "YOUNG, DUMB, FULL OF CUM" -------------------- Zashto komshijin klinja ima veci penis od mene? |
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Poruka
#14
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izgrizao sam ruku dok nisi napisao odgovor ;*
-------------------- ![]() !ko pushi - zdravlje rushi! |
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Poruka
#15
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Proglasavam ovo najboljim topikom na celooooom forumu : )
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Poruka
#16
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![]() -------------------- oh noes...
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Poruka
#17
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Several students were asked the following problem:
Prove that all odd integers higher than 2 are prime. Mathematician: 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, and by induction, we have that all the odd integers are prime. Statistician: 100% of the sample 5, 13, 37, 41 and 53 is prime, so all odd numbers must be prime. Physicist: 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is Uh, 9 is an experimental error, 11 is prime, 13 is prime Well, it seems that you're right. Wouldn't a modern physicist employ something like renormalization? 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is 9/3 is prime, 11 is prime, 13 is prime, 15 is 15/3 is prime, 17 is prime, 19 is prime, 21 is 21/3 is prime Quantum Physicist: All numbers are equally prime and non-prime until observed. Chemist: 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime That's enough. Cosmologist: 3 is prime, yes it is true. Engineer: 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is 9 is Well if you approximate, 9 is prime, 11 is prime, 13 is prime Well, it does seem right. Engineer: 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is not working, fetch toolbox. Engineer: 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is prime, 11 is prime[Continue until told to go home by others] -- ovde pocinje pizdarija -- (al ima i nekih izforsiranih stvari, bezveze) Computer scientist: I've just whipped up a program to REALLY go and prove it He goes over to his terminal and runs his program. Reading the output on the screen he says: 1 is prime, 1 is prime, 1 is prime, 1 is prime Computer scientist using Unix: 3's a prime, 5's a prime, 7's a prime, segmentation fault. core dumped. GNU program: % prime usage: prime [-nV] [--quiet] [--silent] [--version] [-e script] --catenate --concatenate | c --create | d --diff --compare | r --append | t --list | u --update | x --extract --get [ --atime-preserve ] [ -b, --block-size N ] [ -B, --read-full-blocks ] [ -C, --directory DIR ] [ --checkpoint ] [ -f, --file [HOSTNAME:] ] [ --force-local ] [ -F, --info-script F --new-volume-script F ] [ -G, --incremental ] [ -g, --listed-incremental F ] [ -h, --dereference ] [ -i, --ignore-zeros ] [ --ignore-failed-read ] [ -k, --keep-old-files ] [ -K, --starting-file F ] [ -l, --one-file-system ] [ -L, --tape-length N ] [ -m, --modification-time ] [ -M, --multi-volume ] [ -N, --after-date DATE, --newer DATE ] [ -o, --old-archive, --portability ] [ -O, --to-stdout ] [ -p, --same-permissions, --preserve-permissions ] [ -P, --absolute-paths ] [ --preserve ] [ -R, --record-number ] [-f script-file] [--expression=script] [--file=script-file] [file...] prime: you must specify exactly one of the r, c, t, x, or d options For more information, type "prime --help" Computer Scientist: 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 7 is prime, 7 is prime, 7 is prime Bus error. Core dumped. The computer programmer method is: 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is prime, 9 is prime, 9 is prime, 9 is Opps, let's try that again: 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is 3 is Um, right. Okay, how about this: 3 is not prime, 5 is not prime, 7 is not prime, 9 is not prime So much for the beta releases. Ship this: 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is a feature, 11 is prime And put on the cover More prime numbers than anyone else in the industry! Coming soon: 13 is a prime, 4 is a feature, 5 is a prime, 6 is a feature, 7 is a prime, 8 is not yet implemented, 9 is our backwards compatibilty module Windows programmer: 1 is prime. Wait. Mac programmer: Now why would anyone want to know about that? That's not user friendly. You don't worry about it, we'll take care of it for you. Bill Gates: 1. No one will ever need any more than 1. TRS-80 Computer Programmer: One is prime, Two is prime, Three is prime, Out of Memory. Computer Scientist with a Pentium: 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 6.9999978 is prime Software tech support operator: Well, we haven't had any reports of composite odd numbers Do you have the latest version of ZFC? Logician: Hypothesis: All odd numbers are prime. Proof: 1) If a proof exists, then the hypothesis must be true. 2) The proof exists; you're reading it now. From 1 and 2 follows that all odd numbers are prime. Confused Undergraduate: yes, it's true. Proof: Let p be any prime number larger than 2. Then p is not divisible by 2, so p is odd. QED itd itd... |
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Poruka
#18
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Coming soon:
13 is a prime, 4 is a feature, 5 is a prime, 6 is a feature, 7 is a prime, 8 is not yet implemented, 9 is our backwards compatibilty module Bill Gates: 1. No one will ever need any more than 1. TRS-80 Computer Programmer: One is prime, Two is prime, Three is prime, Out of Memory. Computer Scientist with a Pentium: 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 6.9999978 is prime :happy1: :happy1: :happy1: :happy1: :happy1: Svaka ti ast, ne secam se kad sam se ovako dobro smejao ![]() -------------------- ![]() I'd kindly ask you to Shut The Fuck Up. |
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Poruka
#19
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(Nikola) (Nikola) Elem: Zashto je zhena programer kao morsko prase? Pa, morsko prase nije morsko, a nije ni prase. :bravo: (Tomy) Proglasavam ovo najboljim topikom na celooooom forumu : )
slazem se! |
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Poruka
#20
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(I'm with the pilots) Several students were asked the following problem:
Prove that all odd integers higher than 2 are prime. ... joj, da... kako se ovog nisam setio ![]() -------------------- As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches 1.
Godwin's law |
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Tekstualna verzija | Datum i vreme: 10th December 2019 - 11:32 |